Ace Backwords finally gets his Covid vaccination shot

My hearing is starting to get bad. I really noticed it last night when I was out with these ladies trying to trap these feral kittens, and they were talking in low, quiet voices (so as not to alert the kitties) and half the time I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. So I mostly just tried to fake my way through when they said something to me, by nodding my head in agreement, or by saying something bland and non-committal (like: “Yeah. Right. Exactly!” — that one usually works) and just hope it was an appropriate response and nothing offensive. . .

But when I went to get my Covid vaccination shot today at the pharmacist, it was hopeless. The pharmacist asked me various questions to fill out their paperwork. But the combination of my bad ears, the mask muffling his voice, and the thick plastic partition between us, made communication particularly difficult. And most of my responses to his queries went from “What?” to “What???” to “WHAT???!!!” . . .
But the real kicker was when he asked me:

“Do you have a female?”
“What?” I said.
“Do you have a female?”
“WHAT???” I said.
“Do you have a female?”
“Well no,” I conceded. “I’ve never been particularly lucky in that regard.” But I was starting to get a little pissed. I felt his line of questioning was getting a little inappropriate and personal, and was about to call him on his shit, when he said:
“Do you have an EEEE-mail.”
“OOOOH,” I said, brightly. “Backwords26@gmail.com.”

Somehow I managed to get through the whole damn procedure and survived this damn pandemic. . .

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