“Nothing” by Ace Backwords

I like to write. I ENJOY writing. It’s like having a conversation with myself. And I’m a fascinating conversationalist (ha ha). I almost never get tired of hearing the sound of my own voice (except for when I’m being an asshole and going on a self-loathing trip and punishing myself or when I’m being boring and even boring myself).

But generally I enjoy writing..I never suffer from “writer’s block.” I have the exact opposite problem. I can never STOP writing and shut the fuck up.

Even now — when I have nothing to say (like now) — I STILL enjoy writing. And I can still write away to my heart’s content even though I have nothing to say with my writing. For example. eg (as we writer’s abbreviate): this particular sentence has no meaning or importance. It’s just a bunch of words and letters and nouns and verbs and vowels that I’m pecking out and posting here.

Ergo, this next sentence is virtually worthless. I’m just writing to hear myself write. And I might go on in this mode for many more sentences and paragraphs and pages and even compile all the pages into a book and it’ll be one more dull book on the pile of billions of other dull books that some other assholes (authors allegedly) have written and inflicted on mankind.

Now I’ve started another paragraph. I realize this is dull. So:

I’M STARTING THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS TO EXCITE MY READERS THAT SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS HAPPENING HERE!!! (exclamation points add to the excitement)

Now, in this last paragraph, I’m Summing It All Up…. “Hmm. That’s life for you!”

Now I’m ending it with a grand climax: The End

PS: I’m adding these additional words and letters for the helluvit’.

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