I’ve gone through a lot of different periods in my life. Ups and downs and sideways and everything in between….. Probably the best period in my life was when I went about 5 years where I meditated every day for about an hour every morning (1997-2002). I didn’t drink or do drugs during that period. I just meditated (Kundalini yoga) and chanted my mantra (“Om namah Shívaya”). And I really got off on it. It might sound corny. But it really worked at the time. It’s the ONLY thing in my life that really worked, actually. That got me to a clear and high state of mind. I actually felt, for once, like I was resolving all of my demons, and I was finally turning into the person I always wanted to be. I even felt I was on the verge of attaining total and complete Enlightenment. The Final Stage. Merging with God and becoming a Realized Being. All that cosmic shit.
But alas I couldn’t sustain it. And I fell off the path.
Even as you never really fall off the path. It’s all “grist for the mill.” And we all keep evolving until we finally all reach the Final Stage.
That’s my understanding and I’m sticking with it.