Went to this coffee shop this morning to get my coffee, and I thought: “It’s Memorial Day weekend. It’s a holiday. Why not get something a little special!!” So I bought this bottle of orange soda. I’m not usually a big soda drinker. But I figured it’s a holiday, a special ocassion, so why not splurge and live a little (what can I say, some guys just know how to party!!). And the soda pop had an association with all the Memorial Days of my childhood. We’d always go off on a family vacation for the holiday, and my mother would always pack a big picnic lunch with lots of sodas and potato chips, and the whole family would go to the beach for a day in the sun. Mom, Dad, and the five kids. We’d all pile into the family VW bus and off we’d go. The beginning of another long hot summer of fun. And I was tripping on the whole memory as I bought my orange pop.
But as I was walking down the street I started crying. It just hit me out of nowhere for no apparent reason. You know how it is. One moment you’re feeling blank, feeling nothing. And then the next moment you’re blubbering like an imbecile. I had to force myself to get a grip and stop crying as I walked down the street, because I had inadvertently hit on some deep and mysterious well of sadness within me. And you got to keep that in check, especially when you’re walking around in public, lest the authorities come after you with butterfly nets… And it was that feeling that if I didn’t stop crying, I might start crying and crying and never stop.
I guess what made me sad was remembering how innocent it all seemed back then. There was this golden period in my childhood. Before it all got overwhelmed by family tragedies. Holidays can be weird like that. Even when you’re remembering happy memories, it can still make you sad somehow.