King for a day at Burger King

Its a good thing I’m not King and have no royal powers. Because I’d be tempted to execute people.

Like this morning. I haven’t had any solid food in a week because of my surgery. So I’ve developed this powerful appetite. Yesterday I found myself in the grips of a powerful lust for one of those Burger King Whoppers. I thought about it all last night. Woke up at 6 in the morning. Figured I’d have to wait until around ten when they switch from the breakfast menu to the lunch menu. The seconds are dragging on like eternities. . .

Finally the magic hour approacheth. I head out the door to Burger King, “home of the Whopper.” Unfortunately, the woman on line in front of me is taking FOREVER to order. She asks questions about EVERY item on the menu. Changes her mind FIVE times. FINALLY completes her order. I start to order my Whopper. The woman suddenly chimes in: “What?? I didn’t know you had switched from the breakfast to the lunch menu. Can I change my order to a lunch meal?” Goes through the whole ordering process all over again.

So then me and the lady are at the counter waiting for our orders. Our orders both come at the same time. “Excuse me,” I said. “Could I also get the cup of water I ordered?” But before the clerk could answer the woman chimes in: “Hey! Could I replace this drink I ordered with this other drink?” “Sure,” says the clerk. The clerk disappears off to the back room to points unknown. I’m left standing at the counter. Waterless.

I stomp off. Muttering Italian curses under my breath.

There’s a lot of debate about the death penalty, pro and con. Personally, I’m all for it.

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