Dealing With Assholes – 101

I was just hanging out at one of my favorite hangout spots on the Berkeley campus, sitting at a table with my extension cord plugged into the wall socket on the wall behind me and stretched out to my table so I can sit here and use my cellphone while I’m charging my cellphone. When this nut — one of my “fellow street people” — this slovenly fellow wearing four overcoats and at least three layers of pants, one of which is sagging well below his ass — walks by me and plugs his cellphone into the socket. Then he unplugs my extension cord, walks over and hands it to me, and then mumbles something to me of which I can’t understand a word, but the translation is obviously: “I’m using this socket. I’ve decided you can’t use this socket anymore.”

The idea that I was here first is obviously a concept too complicated for him to wrap his subhuman brain around. So what’s the point of discussing it with him (I’ve long since realized the folly of attempting rational discourse with irrational creatures). I put my extension cord back in my backpack, quickly pack up, stand up, and give a sharp, angry glare at the creature now manning what had been my hangout spot. And make my exit.

If you want to get in fights on the street scene, you will find ample opportunities to do so, virtually every day of your life on the streets. If you are looking to take offense, you will find ample reason to be offended. You certainly will. And especially if you’re a “macho” type who takes every offense as an affront on their manhood. You can get into fight after fight after fight (and many do so). . . But my operating premise when it comes to dealing with assholes is: “It’s a big world, and the point is to occupy a part of it that doesn’t include the asshole.” So I got up and left, in search of another outdoor outlet that exists in an Asshole Free Zone.

While taking solace in the knowledge that in a couple more months the University will end the Covid lockdown and re-open the campus, and in the process run off all these subnormal sacks’o’shit who have temporarily occupied the deserted campus with their useless bulk. And all the outdoor outlets of the world will once again be mine, all mine. As Nature intended. Ha ha.

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